Mars Venus Measures Who is more on Fire

Fire Vs. Ice.

Fire Vs. Ice

As we get older we start to feel the results of ageing caused by the decrease of hormone production.  By the time men and women have reached the age of 50, we have lost at least half of their hormone production.  For so many women who have chosen to bypass hormone replacement therapy for alternative therapy; the information found in John Gray’s book Venus on Fire Mars on Ice is highly useful.   Teaches you to teach your body produce the good hormones naturally.  Men and Women have their good hormones that keep them young, vibrant and sexually active.  For men it’s “Testosterone”, for women it’s “Oxytocin.”

Now as I said before men’s testosterone level will drop as he ages but what most people don’t know is his levels will change on a daily basis.   The stresses of the job, the commute and life in general will make testosterone drop like a lead brick.  Leaving most men feeling like a grumpy old man crawling to the nearest fortress of solitude for relief more commonly called the “Man Cave.”   Yes ladies “The Man Cave” actually exists and it is a useful tool for both man and woman.  After a long day Man needs to have his time “Alone” to be able to replenish his testosterone levels.  Women need to understand men need their space but we want to talk and share.  That would entail “Invading The Man Cave” How is this good for a woman?  A smart woman would go shopping.

Now let’s talk about women’s happy hormone called “Oxytocin.”    This is the hormone that is produced when a women is happy, stress free and content.  There are quite a few stress busters a woman can use to raise her levels.  The list is actually very long and includes relaxation exercises, bubble bath, hanging out friends, talking, talking, talking.  Did I mention Talking?  For women, sharing is a natural stress reducer.

It’s the difference between how men and women manage stress is what we are addressing.     Men deal with stress by shutting down and women deal with stress by sharing.  Two totally opposite ends of the spectrum.  It’s a wonder we get together long enough to procreate.   Knowing this men and women need to give each other their private space and not bombard their spouse right at the front door after work.

The next point I’d like to make is the hormone killer called “Cortisol.”   Cortisol is more commonly called the fight or flight hormone.  Back when we were still cavemen (some of us still are) and were being chase by a mammoth, this is the hormone that gave us that burst of energy that made us run faster.   Well I don’t need to tell you being chased by mammoth would have been highly stressful.  Well ok we know mammoths are extinct but we do have mammoth size stress to handle.  Country is in financial crisis, foreclosures, unemployment at an all time high are all stressful things.   This constant exposure to stress keeps us in a continuous “Fight of Flight” mode thus our body’s Cortisol I.V. drip is on wide open.

The yucky side effect of Cortisol is weight gain, especially around the waist line.  When a man is under stress, his testosterone goes down and Cortisol goes up.   When a woman is stressed, her Oxytocin goes down but her Cortisol goes twice as high as a man’s. ( Where’s the justice in that?)  As a woman learns to reduce her stress level, her Oxytocin will rise and naturally blend with  fat cells, that all women have, and give her extra energy she didn’t know she had.

The long and short is regardless of whether you are 20 or 80 you should, not only, know how to handle stress in your own life but understand how the opposite sex handles stress.   Men!  Don’t panic! It’s not complicated.  It’s as simple as a hug, a touch, a compliment.   Woman when a man goes into his man cave, DO NOT sit and wait for him to come out.  Take that opportunity to work on your oxytocin…GO SHOPPING!

Dolores Baltierra

Mar Venus Coaching